PART III - THE TRUTH
Her next test was in Valley. And the morning after she’d passed it, she complained to Verity that she never got to see her crops grow. Just when the plants began their life, the test ended, and she was forced to leave. So, Ver soon surprised her with another test in Forest, and informed her that her wish had come true. She would be allowed to work with some mature crops.
When they entered the biome, Lydia was pleased to see summer again. She smiled her way down the path, picking leaves from the trees and shrubbery as she went. When she reached the clearing, she ran to look behind the cabin before meeting her suitor. She squealed when she saw the garden. As promised, half of the furrows were already alive with knee-high tomato plants. There was also a pen with chickens in it, so Lydia understood the test would be two-fold, like had been done a few times before.
She met her suitor Raith, a soft-spoken boy with a sharp nose and messy, dirty blonde hair, and they began the test.
It was late on the afternoon of the first day and Lydia was washing herself in the shower partition attached to the outside of the cabin. Strangely, she felt a tingling when she rubbed her stomach. She looked down, cold water cascading over her head and naked body, and then quickly looked up, aware of the cameras in the trees around her. She wasn’t sure if they could see into the shower area, but she felt suddenly very exposed. She continued washing as if nothing had happened, deciding to check on the sensation later.
After dinner, when Raith had climbed into the bed and Lydia was about to blow out the final candles, she chanced a look.
It was pretty much invisible—especially in the light of a single candle—but Lydia swore she could see a short, curved discolored line drawn on her skin across the bottom of her stomach. When she traced it with her index finger, it tingled slightly. Just enough that it felt different from the skin around it. Had that always been there?
Lydia quickly blew out the candle and joined Raith in the bed. He kept to his side in quiet, and she laid in the darkness, hand on her stomach under the blanket, tracing the line while the thoughts spun around in her mind.
How had she gotten that scar? And how had she never noticed it until now? It tingled as she traced it end to end, and she swore the skin itself felt softer on her finger.
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She laid there for a while, trying to remember if she’d noticed the mark before. She traced it again and again under the blankets and then smiled, remembering the way Mars would trace shapes in her palm with his finger. She did the motion absentmindedly, drawing in her own left palm. She remembered instantly what he’d always done. Tap in the center. Trace a curve above it. Tap in the center. Trace a curve—
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She froze.
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Had he been drawing something specific?
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She drew it again under the blanket. Tap—dot—in the center, and a curved line above it.
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Yes. That was the shape! He’d done it dozens of times during their test. And if she remembered a specific shape, he must have been drawing a specific shape.
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She drew it a few more times. What was it? A little eye? The dot was the eye and the curve was the eyebrow above it? Maybe. But she swore it looked like something else she’d seen. A dot with a half circle drawn above it. Where had she seen that symbol?
After a few minutes, it hit her.
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It was a musical symbol she’d come across when studying the written language classical musicians had used to record their music. To Lydia, the language had seemed a mess of chaotic lines and dots and scribbles, but she’d watched vids that explained some of the symbols and she remembered this one because… it had looked like a little drawing of an eye!
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But what was its name? And meaning? She couldn’t remember.
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She yawned and smiled again to herself, relaxing. It was sweet. Mars had known her interest was classical music, and so he’d drawn that little symbol in her hand. It was a cute thing to do.
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It hurt a little, but she allowed herself to reminisce about Mars. She remembered the good moments she shared with him, imagined how it felt to kiss him. After she laid there in the darkness for a long time, thinking of Mars, she fell asleep.
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And then she woke up at the creak of a floorboard.
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She opened her eyes, blinking out the sleep. The candles on the table were lit.
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And a man was standing in the room.
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Lydia gasped, her lungs trying to scream. Before she could, the man put a finger to his lips and held up his hands.
“I won’t hurt you, Lydia!” he whispered. “Please don’t make a sound!”
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Lydia couldn’t move.
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Raith laid motionless in the bed next to her. Some sort of mask was tied around his face, covering his mouth and nose. Lydia sat up and tried to scramble away from the man in her room, but there was nowhere to go. She was backed against the cabin wall.
“He’s been sedated!” the man whispered, pointing at Raith. “But he’s unharmed!”
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“Who are you?” Lydia panted, terrified. She tried to get a better look at the stranger in the candlelight. The first thing she noticed was the thick brown beard on his chin. The second was that he was an adult. The first she’d ever met. The tiny wrinkles in the corners of his eyes and on his cheek gave it away. She noticed the hair on his head was tied back in a bun, and he wore clothing that didn’t match the plain clothes she was used to: his shirt and pants were sewn together from rough fabrics with frayed edges and—though it was hard to see in the dim light—they seemed to be dirty, like Lydia’s clothes always were after she’d worked a day in the garden. The man also wore weapons strapped on his back and he sported scarred, worn boots on his feet.
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“Lydia,” he whispered. “I removed the speaker, but we still have only moments to talk.”
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Lydia checked and sure enough, the sharp triangular speaker had been taken from the cabin. Lydia looked back at the man and was shocked at what she saw in his eyes. Was he… crying? She sat up a little straighter in the bed, her heart pounding in her chest.
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The night was quiet, and Lydia watched the man carefully, waiting to see what he did next. Somehow, she did not feel like her life was in danger.
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Then the man—this strange, dirty, intruder in the night who knew her—spoke to her with tears in his eyes. “I—I thought I was prepared,” choked the stranger, looking at Lydia with an expression she couldn’t interpret. A tear ran from each eye down his cheek and into his beard. He shook his head slowly, watching her. “How they bend the time.”
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Lydia sat there, spellbound, her fear melted away. Insects chirped outside and the candle flame danced over the wax. “Who ARE you?” she repeated, whispering as forcefully as she could.
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The man ignored the question, and instead pulled something from his belt. Lydia didn’t recognize the object at first—if she’d seen one in the vids, it had been a long time. But then when she saw the way his fingers closed around it, she knew what it was.
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A gun.
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An old Terran weapon.
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He took a step toward her and Lydia held her arms up.
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But he didn’t point it at her.
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Instead, he pointed with his other hand at her mattress, and then motioned her off the bed. Cautiously, she pulled the blanket from her legs and climbed out onto the rug. Raith remained motionless in the bed.
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When she’d stepped away, the man moved with a quiet swiftness she had never seen. She watched in silence as he used a knife from his belt to cut a slit in the mattress and stow the gun inside. Then he covered it with the blanket and stood up. It had taken only a few seconds but by the time it was finished, Lydia was no longer afraid. The man was nimble and precise with his movements and clearly, he knew how to wield and use a gun. If he had wanted to hurt her, he would have done so.
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Lydia swallowed as he took another step toward her. As he did, his face emerged from the shadows and the candlelight glinted in the tear trails on his cheeks. He stood only inches away. She looked up at him with new eyes.
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He was handsome. She’d never met a mature adult man—only seen them in the vids. This one was much older than her—she could tell—but not old. He seemed to live between the young, early manhood of her suitors, and the old, wise manhood would replaced the strength of a back with the strength of a mind. He was mature, and in his prime. His shoulders were broad and his limbs thick and strong. She knew should have been terrified, screaming for Verity or waking Raith. But something about this man calmed her… he seemed almost familiar. He had broken into her cabin in the middle of the night, and still Lydia was not afraid. The man smiled in his beard and wiped his eyes. He touched her cheek with a gentle hand and Lydia felt something remarkable. A feeling she couldn’t explain or identify. Something in the way the man looked at her made her feel both insignificant and incredibly important at the same time. Like he knew her weaknesses and her strengths. Like he trusted and distrusted her. Like he…
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Admired her.
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A twig snapped in the forest outside the cabin and the man spun toward the window, fast like an animal. Lydia noticed for the first time that bags of vegetables had been propped up on the windowsill, blocking it. Probably so the candlelight could be seen from outside. The man began to breath quickly.
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“Lav, it’s time.” he whispered, and Lydia jumped again when something moved behind them.
Someone else was in the room.
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A girl.
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She stepped out from behind the shelves by the sink where she’d apparently been crouched against the wall, hidden from sight. Lydia’s eyes widened.
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A human girl.
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Now there were two strangers in her cabin! What kind of test was this?
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The girl wore clothing and weapons similar to the man’s—knives and a bow were strapped to her thighs and back. Her flowing hair was a rich dark brown and dirt was smeared in lines on her cheeks in a way that seemed intentional, like she wanted to blend into a midnight forest. She stood about the same size and height as Lydia and had to be close to her age. She crossed the room slowly and gracefully, stopping in front of Lydia.
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Lydia looked from the girl to the man, breathing heavy, heartbeat relentless.
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The girl spoke and her voice was quiet, but firm.
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“Papa?” She said to the man, but with her eyes glued on Lydia.
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“This is Lydia,” he whispered. “Let her meet you.”
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The girl softened, and she shared a look with him. Then, she gingerly offered Lydia a hand.
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Lydia took it, nervous, but calm.
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“I’m Lavender.” The girl whispered. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
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Lydia took the hand and looked between the strangers. Their eyes were the same exact color. She stuttered, “I… I don’t under—”
And then finally, she felt in the man’s eyes something she’d felt in another’s and she recognized it. And she could barely breathe.
Because in that moment, she connected everything together.
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Time.
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The man had said, ‘How they bend the time.’
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Lydia panted heavily, closing her eyes. The thoughts were spinning and crashing against each other in her head, but she was about to make sense of it all.
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The musical symbol was a fermata, and it dealt with the timing of a song. It indicated a long pause outside the normal rhythm of the piece of music. It broke time. It froze time.
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Lydia opened her eyes. She let go of the girl’s hand and turned to the man. She reached up as silently and as slowly as she could. She touched the warm, bearded face before her and opened her mouth to speak but the word wouldn’t form. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t breathe. Finally, it came, a fragile whisper.
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“Ror?”
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Instantly, something crashed through the wall behind her, making a horrible noise. Lydia screamed as a strong hand grabbed Lydia’s shirt from behind and yanked her back against the wood. She hit with a thud as splinters of broken boards fell at her feet. She caught a glimpse of the man grabbing the girl and dashing for the door as a dark body pinned her to the wall and covered her face with a wet cloth. She struggled, screaming, seeing blue glow. She writhed, trying to break free, but the body that held her back was much stronger than her and she felt extremely dizzy. She caught a final glimpse of the candlelit room as she fought with the body holding a cloth to her face. The man and the girl were already gone.
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Then there was a loud sound like a small explosion outside the cabin. Then yelling. Then Lydia felt dizzy.
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Then her strength failed, and she passed out.
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Lydia woke up in her sleeproom. It took her a few minutes to remember who she was and where she was. She stretched and instinctively touched the line on her stomach.
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She sat up, remembering the night in Forest.
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Stumbling down the ladder, she came face to face with Verity. The blue lights that illuminated the android’s arms were painfully bright.
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“We need to talk” said the android in a plain, no-feelings voice. She led Lydia to a couch in the center of the room and they sat.
“Lydia,” Verity started as they sat down, “I apologize for that traumatic experience in Forest. Let me explain what happened.”
Lydia listened carefully.
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“The man and the girl are crew members on the ship,” the android said. “They had grown insecure and frustrated with their routine responsibilities below deck and had apparently devised a plan to sabotage the important work we do up here on this level.
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“And, because crew members are informed somewhat on the trials and victories of our most important passenger—you—they had personal information to use when they attacked you.”
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“They didn’t attack me,” Lydia said, careful to remove any emotion from the words before she spoke them.
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“Well, they attacked an important test, and interrupted all the progress you’d made with the suitor Raith. I don’t know their exact motivations for the assault—we were forced to subdue them before they enlightened us. But this happens on isolated ships sometimes. Crew members grow tired and revolt for reasons that are noble only to them.”
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“So, what did you do with them?”
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“They have been detained in cryo and placed in storage for the remainder of the voyage.”
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“Which is how long?”
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“Lydia, you know I don’t know that. No world has been discovered.”
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Lydia nodded. She put on a plain face.
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“Are you in a state to begin a test today?” the android asked.
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“I guess so.”
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Lydia left the jungle, stepping into the hatch and sitting on the seat in the acc pod as the white smoke began to leak from the vents. Verity closed the door behind them and looked at her. She didn’t make any noise, but Lydia could tell the android was unhappy.
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“Why didn’t you approve the match?” asked the mouthless face.
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Lydia had performed the test, sprouted the fruit trees, and then denied the pair with her suitor. She’d known Verity would suspect something and had planned her response carefully.
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“I don’t know Ver…” she started, looking at the vents in the floor where the white smoke was beginning to form. She tried to sound off but only a little bit. She knew an exaggerated charade would be obvious, so she crafted the tone of her voice carefully. “I just didn’t feel a connection. Sometimes I think I’m… broken… Like I can’t feel anymore. I… I want to succeed in the tests! I know what’s at stake! But I’m just having a hard time connecting with the suitors and I don’t want to approve a pairing unless I feel something like what I’ve felt with Mars or Doon or the other good ones.”
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The smoke began to make her feel dizzy. She doubted Verity would believe her. After all, if she didn’t believe the android anymore, why would the android still believe her? She knew Verity had powerful systems that could read her facial expressions and tone of voice.
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But it seemed enough a response for now. Verity sat beside Lydia while the drugs lifted her away and consoled her with a cold, mechanic hand on her shoulder.
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And then the day came. The day when Lydia was allowed back into Forest. She’d been to Valley and Jungle and Desert almost a dozen times now for tests and had denied the pairing on almost all of them. She didn’t know exactly what she was doing, but she knew why: she couldn’t give up the time.
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She knew now that each test passed was incredibly costly. And in a way she’d never dreamed of. And so, she denied her pairings and placed the blame either on a fault in the suitor, or on her own ‘inability to connect.’ Twice, she did consent the child. Part of her was just so scared that Verity would never let her back into Forest or would keep her from the domes altogether if she didn’t. It was a horrible thought to be trapped forever in the Hab. So, Lydia had remained strong and done her best to convince Verity that she was just feeling sad. She’d waited patiently for the moment she was allowed to return to Forest.
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And it had come.
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She managed her expressions and tried to act normal as she followed Verity to the edge of the clearing where the android usually left her. She met her suitor and began the test without acting suspicious. The first night, she waited hours until she heard the boy’s breathing change, and knew he’d entered deep sleep. Then, she quietly sat up in the darkness and reached toward the corner of the mattress where the cut had been made.
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Her heart was beating all the way up into her head. Surely, Verity would have removed it, right? The panels on the wall had been repaired from when the android’s arms smashed through the wood to get at her, so she knew the cabin had been investigated at least from the outside.
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Lydia froze when she felt the cut in the fabric. She took a deep breath and plunged her hand into the slit.
Her hand touched cold metal.
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It was there!
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Lydia covered her mouth in shock. The gun was there! Nestled in the padding, invisible and undetected, it had waited for her. Mars must have been right! Verity could not see into the cabin, and therefore hadn’t known to look for the gun when she entered to repair the wall and return the speaker. Verity hadn’t seen the gun be hidden in the mattress.
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Lydia pulled the weapon from the cut and tested its weight in her hand. She didn’t dare check for ammunition, however, knowing that any clanking of the metal would be heard through the speaker.
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She stowed the gun back in the mattress and climbed carefully under the blanket. She would go in the morning. It would be too much of a risk in the darkness. It was very possible Verity waited outside the cabin at night. She’d certainly been nearby that night. But in the daytime, Lydia never saw her, so she knew she would have at least a few minutes before the android could get to her.
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She finally fell asleep after going over the plan in her head again and again.
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When they awoke in the morning, Lydia began the work in the garden with the boy. After about an hour, she left, saying she needed the washroom. She entered the cabin, removed the gun from the mattress and stowed it in her waistband, covering it with her shirt. The metal felt cold on her stomach, and Lydia smiled at the symbolism.
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Her discovery began and ended right there, at the center of her own body.
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She left the cabin, keeping it between her and the garden where the boy was planting seeds. Quickly, she combed through the thick underbrush and wound her way through the trees. It was a complicated path, but she knew Forest so well. She hurried faster and faster.
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This was it. She had only minutes until Verity undoubtedly appeared to stop her. It had taken Verity almost an hour to arrive that night in Desert when Lydia had rejected Fenn, but she expected the android was much closer now. There was no way Ver wasn’t carefully watching her on her first test back in Forest since the incident. And this was probably her only shot. If she was found destroying the tech in the dome, she could be declared unfit for testing and either be imprisoned in the Hab or stored away in a cryo box until they reached the world Verity kept promising they would find.
“Well,” Lydia whispered to herself as she clawed through the underbrush. “I’ll find the world for you, android.”
She stepped out from behind a tree, exactly where she wanted to be.
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She’d reached the dome, right where one of the generator poles was visible between the blurred sections of the field. She’d picked the spot from memory. Taking a deep breath, Lydia pulled the gun from under her shirt, and crouched down to the ground.
She aimed the weapon at the base of the generator apparatus, the part that rested on the ground. She clicked the trigger.
Nothing happened.
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She looked over the gun, panicking, knowing she had only seconds. Finally, she found a small button on the side. She pressed it and a yellow line illuminated along the side of the gun. She held it back to the generator, positioning its point an inch from black device that created the field and pulled the trigger.
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Bwow!
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The red flash explosion knocked her to her back, and she dropped the gun. A loud buzzing noise followed the sound and then hissing filled the air. Ears ringing, Lydia staggered to her feet.
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There was a hole in the forest.
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She couldn’t believe it. It had worked! The gun had destroyed the lowest section of the generator pole and the field was down on both sides of it. The higher part of the pole dangled crooked above her, swinging side to side and trailing smoke. And where there should have been blasted-open wall panels or glitching screen panels on the inside of the dome, there was nothing.
The forest continued on ahead of her.
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The dome…
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Was not real.
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Lydia picked up the gun that had fallen to her feet and ran through the hole in the field and into the trees. She stopped in a small clearing and tried to think. She looked around, hyperventilating. She had entered a space that should have been outside the ship. She swallowed as the weight of the revelation suddenly burdened her. Believing the android was lying to her had fueled her. But knowing it was true? It was something else. She immediately started to worry she’d been drugged, or that the dome was simply thicker than she’d ever thought.
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But… NO.
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She’d been right! It was all a lie! The energy of it shot through her veins. The domes weren’t real! The domes weren’t—!
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Something cracked in the trees to her right.
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Lydia took off running, shrubbery tearing at her arms and legs, leaves slapping at her face. She rammed a thick tree trunk and cried out at the pain in her shoulder, but she didn’t stop.
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Then a voice screamed at her.
“Stop right there!”
She froze, panting in the forest. None of the patterns of tree trunks were familiar, now that she’d left the dome. She spun on her toes, holding the gun up in every direction. Behind her, something stepped out from the cover of a tree.
An android. But it wasn’t Verity. It was built like her, but with masculine lines and arms that glowed red instead of blue. Without thinking, Lydia raised her gun with both arms and shot the android.
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Bwow!
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The red flash nearly blinded Lydia as the male android’s chest exploded in sparks and smoke and he fell backward, collapsing on the ground.
Then two other male androids emerged from the trees to her left and right
“Halt!”
“Drop your weapon!” they screamed, leveling guns of their own.
Lydia put her finger on the trigger, wild like there was a fire burning in her chest. She readied herself to shoot again.
“Lydia!”
But this last voice did stop her. Because she knew it. Lydia looked around and there she was. Verity. The familiar android had appeared from the trees behind the male on the right.
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“Lydia! It’s just me,” she shouted, glowing blue, hands up in defense. “Please calm down!”
“I’m not calming down!” Lydia screamed. “Your lies are finished! You can’t keep me imprisoned anymore! The dome wasn’t real! The field was just a field! Keeping me from the rest of this forest! And the suitors never came from the ship!”
“Well, some of them did. And it was never a ship,” Verity said quietly.
Lydia froze. “Wh—what?”
“Why don’t we talk about what you’ve discovered.”
“Oh, now you’re willing to talk about it!” Lydia laughed hysterically. “Now that I’ve exposed you! Now you want to explain! Now you—”
“Lidi, please just listen to me. I need to assess how much you have learned for yourself!”
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Lydia stood there, breathing panting. Her heart pounded. Heat prickled the skin down her back. “I’m done with your tests, Android!” She spat, feeling tears form at the edges of her eyes.
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“If you prove your knowledge, you may earn more. Much more.”
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Lydia froze. She had forced Verity’s hand. She knew the dome was false. That there was open forest beyond. Now Verity was improvising.
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Lydia sized up the situation. She could run. But it likely would last only moments. She knew these male androids—and even Verity herself—could easily outrun her, overpower her, and even outthink her. They were androids. She took a deep breath. She felt so much anger and fury directed at Verity. But she knew now was not the time for rebellion. There was an opportunity here. The android wanted another test.
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And she would have one.
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Finally, Lydia nodded.
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Verity began, “What have you discovered of the lies that have surrounded you? Think it through.”
Think it through.
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Lydia began to speak, finally revealing the thoughts and theories she’d been cultivating for many weeks, the doubts that had plagued her for so long. Immediately, a power washed over her as she offered them up. She spoke powerfully, unafraid of the androids or their weapons.
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“We are not on a ship, searching far space for a suitable world,” she began. “We are on a world. One that appears to already be suitable, even though there are only four climates, and they seem to have been terra-manufactured or terraformed in close proximity to one another. I don’t know why you’ve convinced me for seventeen years we were on a ship, but…” she paused to think. “Well, I guess it was so I wouldn’t try to escape. If I believed that only the cold vacuum of space awaited beyond the walls of the domes, I would never test them, would I.”
“Very good,” Verity said, and she actually sounded… proud. “Now, what of the tests? The suitors?”
“I believe the suitors come from this world and not from cryo boxes under the Hab. And they know—well, some of them know—about the lies you bind me with.” Lydia thought of Mars. She hadn’t been sure at first, but she felt confident now that he had known all along and had tried to guide Lydia forward with only the quietest of hints. Oh, sweet Mars. Lydia wished he could be there with her now, to witness her moment of triumph and cheer her on in his quiet way.
“You are correct, but only partially. Some of your suitors did come from storage in the complex. But the rest are from this world. They were instructed and trained to interact with you without giving anything away. Do you have any idea which were which?”
Lydia swallowed. “Mars is of the world. I know it. And Ror and most of the ones I met in here in Forest.”
“You are correct. Well done, Lydia. And what else of the tests? Of their design?”
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Lydia continued, choosing her words carefully. It seemed like Ver was still searching for something specific. And she was pretty sure she knew what the android fished for. It was the only theory that made it all work together.
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“I believe,” she began finally, “that you have been stealing years from me.”
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Nothing moved in the clearing and Lydia marveled for a moment at the strange nature of the scene. A human and three androids, conferencing in a peaceful mountain forest while speckled evening sunlight colored the entire scene, pointing old Terran guns at each other. Not in her wildest childhood imaginations of the tests had she thought they would lead her here.
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“I believe that,” Lydia continued, “you have, more than once, placed me in cryo without my consent, to allow for the passing of inworld time. I believe it was to preserve me, though I don’t know why. And I believe that once during those stretches in cryo, I… I…” Lydia struggled to finish. She knew that if this truth were proven genuine, it would hurt her so much more than the others. Deeply… profoundly would it hurt. She didn’t know if she was prepared for it.
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Birds chirped around them and Lydia breathed slowly until she had the strength to say it. Verity and the other androids barely moved, waiting for Lydia.
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“I had a child. I don’t know how it’s possible, but I know it’s happened. I feel a scar on my body and…” Lydia began to cry, hands on her stomach. “...and one in my heart. Something profoundly mine has been stolen from me and if not for that night in the cabin… for him… I may have lived an entire life without knowing it. Without knowing her.”
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“Her, Lydia?”
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“Lavender,” Lydia whispered finally, giving in to the quiet sobs. “…it was like looking into a mirror…”
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“Stop!” blurted Verity, but as if she was happily surprised. “It is enough! Even now I feel the binds loosening in my programming! We allowed for provisions of transparency provided the Manymother found enlightening on her own and…” the android was rambling, like she was excited. Lydia didn’t know what to make of it. “Apparently, Lydia, you’ve done it! You’ve freed yourself!”
The male androids lowered their guns and relaxed in unison.
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Lydia wiped her eyes. She was confused, exhausted, and still a little scared.
Verity held out a hand. “Can I tell you a story?”